If Only To Be Seen

So she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen Him who looks after me.”

Genesis 16:13

I love the stars, the planets. Rare, if ever, do I step out into the night without immediately looking up. It never gets old, searching for the familiar shine of the planets, Venus stunning and bold, Mars, just shy of bright orange, Jupiter, faithfully shining in the south. Saturn, Mercury to be found based on their proximity to the bright ones. I know only the most common constellations, but the satisfaction of finding them does not disappoint. Waiting in the early predawn hours to silently watch for falling stars, bundled in blankets over my pjs, my feet covered in long socks and if necessary, snow boots. Better yet, bare-footed, on warm summer nights, listening to the call of the locusts, watching, watching and waiting. The night sky never fails to bring forth a sense of wonder, a sense of delight, like a child seeing the shine for the first time, but only again.

My Heavenly Father sees me. In a crowd of 7.8 billion others, He sees me individually, knows my name (even my secret name, Revelation 2:17), knows my circumstances and knows my heart. I wonder, does He delight to find me as I delight to find the stars? In Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi (Philippians 2:15-16) he writes, “Then you will shine among them like the stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life”. I will shine like a star in a sea of stars when I hold firmly to Jesus Christ. Does God have that same sense of familiarity, that same desire to always be looking for me, noticing me, does it ever get old for Him to watch His child? It is a deliberate effort to let truth prevail over my emotions, my feelings, remembering that God sees me. God sees me when my circumstances threaten to drown me, when I am tired, and when my life does not align with how He has called me to live. Even then, He chooses to see me. God not only sees me, but in those moments of hopelessness, He becomes my hope and my provision.

God sees me when my circumstances are overwhelming. The young Egyptian servant of Sarai, Hagar, is a beautiful example of how God sees me in unfair, difficult circumstances. The story of Hagar is recorded in Genesis chapters 16 and 21. She is a servant of Sarai, living in the tents of a wandering tribe, away from her home, no longer protected by her father, a brother or a husband. Sarai, impatient with waiting for a child, gives Hagar to her husband, Abram, to bear them a child. First, Abram is old, Hagar is young and she has no choice in this matter. In Genesis 16:2, Sarai’s motive is made clear that the child would be for her and Abram and not for Hagar and Abram. Insult upon insult, forgotten, sent or taken away from her home, unnoticed by anyone who may have wanted her as a wife, now given to a man as a substitute for what his wife could not obtain on her own. Hagar does conceive a child which results in mistreatment by Sarai, who may have changed her mind now that her plan is beyond her control (I am being harsh on Sarai, God sees Sarai too, just read ahead a few chapters). Pregnant Hagar flees to the wilderness to escape her mistress. God sees Hagar in the wilderness, He comforts her and makes a promise to her about her son. Hagar responds (Genesis 16:13), “‘You are a God of seeing’, for she said, ‘truly here I have seen Him who looks after me'”. An unlikely candidate to be seen by God in the Old Testament writings, not a Hebrew girl, of no social standing, pregnant and on her own. Overwhelmed with the circumstances forced upon her, fleeing, God sees her and gives her hope and new direction. When my circumstances are too much, too difficult, God sees me, and He gives me new hope. His promises a lifeline to a new day.

God sees me when I am tired, when I have had enough, when my desire is to run and hide from the world. Elijah, one of the great prophets of the Old Testament, knew what it is like to be tired. He is being obedient to the word of the LORD, and has just experienced a tremendous spiritual victory in 1 Kings 18. There he is, in the very next chapter, fearing for his life (1 Kings 19:3), running, alone and tired. In verse 4, Elijah says, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life.” It is enough. How many times have I whispered, it is enough? No more, I am tired, I do not want to do this anymore. Look what happens next, Elijah lays down, sleeps and an angel of the LORD awakens him to a hot meal and then again he sleeps. Twice this happens, twice a meal is prepared and ready when he wakes, three times he sleeps. Isn’t that something? That a God who neither slumbers (Psalms 121:3-4) nor has need of food would direct His servant to sleep and then awaken him with dinner? A provision to strengthen Elijah to continue on his path. How often this happens, when I am finished, when it is enough, when I am beyond tired and the LORD becomes my provision, my rest, my encouragement to go again. That is what He is after in my, “it is enough”, He is whispering, “no, I am enough, rest, trust in my provision, and be ready to go again”. A God who sees me when I am weary enabling me to see Him, enabling me to move again.

God sees me before I see Him. John in Chapter 4 of his gospel writes of a Samaritan woman meeting Jesus at the city well. She is alone, choosing a time when a chance encounter with other women of the town would be unlikely, hiding from the looks, the stares and the whispers. Poor standing in the community resulting from her history with men, her history of wanting to be seen, and going about it in a manner that was destructive minimally, to her reputation. This woman, with no recorded name, encounters Jesus and without dialog or explanation He sees her. He knows her. In verse 39, she declares to the townspeople (no longer afraid of their commentary), “He told me all that I ever did”. All she ever did, all about the five husbands, and the new one that was not yet a husband. All she ever did, Jesus saw. In seeing her, now for the first time, she is able to see Him. What a gift, that she did not first have to explain herself, justify herself, or hide herself, that she could be seen, completely.

In Matthew 9:36 and Mark 6:34 , the scriptures record that Jesus saw the crowds and had compassion on them. He did not see them and condemn them, blame them, shame them, guilt them. He saw them and had compassion, becoming the provision for salvation. Jesus Christ sees me, when I am overwhelmed, tired, and running with an ache to be seen, trying to be seen in ways that do not honor Him or whom He has created me to be. He sees me! He searches the earth (2 Chronicles 16:9) for me, finding me, providing me and strengthening me so that I can shine like a star in the heavens. I am the apple of my Father’s eye (Zechariah 2:8), and He never grows weary of searching for me amidst the crowd of 7.8 billion. He is never too busy to linger with me, He never forgets me, He never grows weary of waiting on me, He never loses sight of me.

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