When Warriors Weep; How to Be Brave When You Do Not Want to Be Brave
“Then David and the people who were with him raised their voices and wept until they had no more strength to weep.”
1 Samuel 30:4 NIV
I have a confession, a secret, I am tired of being brave. Like really just tired of it. I do not know if it is all of the bad news (I do not even want to list examples, there are too many and perhaps ignoring them will make them all go away), or social media, or getting older and watching everyday tick by until, until what? And why does not anyone tell you that one of the most bittersweet (to date anyway) aspects of being a parent is waiting for those grown up babes to touchdown, knowing they will only take off again after too brief of an encounter? I suppose if someone had told me, I would have given up on being brave a long time ago. The golden era of being young and naive, smitten with happily ever after is all too soon overtaken by the reality that life is kind of hard and full of bumps, bruises and if only’s.
Being brave is not an option when you are a Christ-follower. We are called to be brave, hopeful, joyful, cheerful, thankful and prayerful in the midst of the even though’s. When the if only’s are long replaced by the even though’s, we are called to pick up our tired feet and approach our minutes in bold, brave confidence. How do we do this?
David knew what it was like to come to the end of his bravery. Yes, that David. The one who led an army of mighty men. In 1 Samuel 27 we see David fleeing Israel and the relentless King Saul with six hundred loyal men. They have escaped their own king and they, with their families, lived amongst their enemies in the land of the Philistines. David and his men established themselves as servants to the King of Gath, forming a military alliance in return for a home. In chapter 29, we see David and his men suiting up for battle with the Philistine army. Leaving their village and families behind they march towards war, a war set against their native countrymen and King Saul. However, at the last minute the Philistine men refuse to have David and his army join their battle, despite David’s history of honoring their alliance. They believe a conflict of interest will arise and David may turn on them.
In 1 Samuel 30, David and his men return to their transitory home in Ziklag and find their village destroyed by fire and their families taken captive. Six hundred men have followed David away from their home in Israel, battled behind him, agreed to a military alliance with their enemy and return dejected to smoldering flames and ashes. Their wives, children and livestock are missing. They are weary, tired and far beyond disappointed in their leader and their God. Their response is recorded in verse 4, “David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep”.
Have you been there? Worn out from weeping? Not because it looks bad, but because it is bad. It is not what you signed up for. Surrounded by circumstances that appear to be well past redemption. Where oh where do you find hope there? How can you be hope for others in this space? And how can you possibly continue to be brave?
David was, “greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God” (1 Samuel 30:6 NIV). David found strength in the LORD his God. David did not rally call for his warrior friends, he did not admonish them, or goad them. He went, overcome with distress, and found strength in the LORD.
How do we do this? How do we find strength in the LORD our God when we would rather quit? The passage in 1 Samuel shows us that David went to the LORD. Step one, bring it to the LORD. Bring all of it, the disappointment, the difficulty, the bad stuff that is threatening to take you under. Bring it, dump it, leave it. The second thing David did was inquire of the LORD. He asked Him what he should do. Step two, inquire of the LORD, ask Him for guidance, for direction. (He knows the outcome. He knows how to lead you and your broken heart forward.) The third thing David did was obey. We see the LORD’s response to David in verse 8, “‘Pursue them,’ He answered. ‘You will certainly overtake them and succeed in the rescue”‘. David and 400 of his men leave to pursue their enemy and bring back their people. Step three, obey. God will not leave you empty handed when you respond in obedience.
How do we find strength in the LORD when we have come to the end of our brave?
We bring Him our difficulties, our even though’s and our if only’s. We are transparent with Him, honest and open, even if it is ugly.
We inquire of Him, asking Him for guidance, wisdom, discernment and strength.
We obey when He responds.
David, along with 400 of his men, find the strength to pursue their enemies. Four hundred men are able to fall in line behind their leader and follow him into one more battle. Two hundred men stay behind, too exhausted to continue. Two hundred of David’s mighty men, battle tested, brave beyond comprehension, face weariness they are unable to overcome and they stay behind. Why is this important? Because if you read the entire passage, you will find that David and his 400 men do recapture their people, they do recover everything. Verse 19, “Nothing was missing: young or old, boy or girl, plunder or anything else they had taken. David brought everything back.” David and his army not only brought back what belonged to the 400 men who found the strength to continue, they brought back everything. David ensured that those 200 who were too tired to continue received all that had belonged to them.
When you are too exhausted to move forward, when life is too much, God does not look at you and say, “I’m going to take what was yours and disperse it among those who pulled their socks up and advanced”. He does not admonish you or goad you or count you as less than. Because what happens when God brings about restoration is not about what you have battled for or what you have done, it is about who He is. He is a God of restoration. He is a God of endless, scandalous grace. He is a God of recompense. He is a God of if only’s and even though’s. And He is definitely a God of impossible situations.
Because what happens when God brings about restoration is not about what you have battled for or what you have done, it is about who He is.
When you cannot be brave, take a time out and remember what your God has done for you in the past. Remember how He has shown up, how He has provided, encouraged. Remember how steadfast He has been, how faithful. Inevitably, when we pause and remember what God has done for us, we remember who God is. And that is a game changer when it comes to being brave.
