Trusting the Heart of Jesus; When our Faith in the Promises Falters
“His (Jesus) heart was gentle and lowly toward us when we were lost. Will his heart be anything different toward us now that we are found?”
Dane Ortlund, Gently and Lowly
I wonder at times if I will forever want my own way. It is possible to obey Jesus but at the very center of your being, want your own way. It festers, like a bad secret, a precursor to bitterness. I know this because I sometimes live it. I would like to write, I sometimes lived it, but that would lead you to believe that I used to experience this nagging desire, and now I do not, which would be untrue. If abiding in Jesus is like being a fruit bearing branch attached to a life-giving vine, then intentionally holding on to our own way is like another vine. A bad one, planted too close, twisting itself around the branches of our lives, limiting our fruitfulness. We become the thieves of our own joy.
We are familiar with the Biblical stories of waiting, of Sarah and Abraham, and of David. How the promises God made to them came only after long periods of waiting and then came to pass in ways they could never have imagined. Continuing to this day, a chosen people preserved and countless like the stars, the sand on the seashore. An eternal kingdom born from the lineage of a shepherd boy who grew to be a chosen king. All three, if at all possible, would have screwed up the promises of God all on their own. God preserves their stories to reveal His faithfulness to the fulfillment of His promises.
God often intentionally makes His children wait. Using a period of waiting to prepare us, to change us, and to make us more dependent upon Him. Hope in our waiting is sustained by verses like Psalm 37:4, Psalm 27:13-14, and Mark 11:24.
- “Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4 NIV)
- “I am confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” (Psalm 27:13-14 NIV)
- “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe it that you have received it, and it will be yours.” (Mark 11:24 NIV)
Let us be honest in how God delivers on delighting His children. He very often uses time and circumstances in the waiting to change our desires, to align our desires with His. He most definitely uses our desires to guide us towards His purpose for our lives, even when that purpose is not how we envisioned it. God rarely delivers delight in the manner His children expect. Do you think that Sarah and Abraham’s idea of having a child involved having him in their old age? Or that David on his way to be king, imagined first he would live as an outlaw, with a bounty on his head? While the fulfillment of the promises made over our lives are often beyond our imagination, so is the path that will take us there.
How do we then live abundantly when we expect a grand parade, and we instead observe a beaten man walk bravely towards a cross? When we expect a child, or a spouse, or a healing, or a prodigal to return home and instead we experience an empty womb, an empty home, a death, or a wayward child determined to dodge an encounter with their Savior? With a relentlessness that can only be fueled by an authentic longing or hope, we pray, we question the strength of our faith, we search for answers in His word. We scroll, we google, we lament, we try to make the world believe we are courageous. We wonder if promises are only meant for others, and somehow, we have been left out of that one single goodness that we so desire. This is not uncommon amongst Jesus followers. God works in mysterious ways and remains sovereign and good, despite our perceived empty hands.
More and more as experience transforms my youthful dreams to wisdom, and as perspective alters my vision, I learn that the pathway to abundant life with empty hands is to trust the heart of my Savior. He is and will remain forever, gentle and lowly, continually inviting me to abide with Him, to walk with Him, to allow Him to carry my longings and trust Him with my desires. Walking in faith looks like daily anchoring myself to the promise that all things work together for those who love God. Not a promise that all things work exactly how I imagine.
The disciples lived this out for us, on the pages of the New Testament. Providing us encouragement and allowing us to know that we are not alone in our struggle and misalignment. The disciples were disillusioned even while in the physical presence of Jesus. They missed it, repeatedly, seeing and not perceiving, hearing and not understanding. Their hope was placed in the wrong desires, in the wrong outcomes, doubting His words, His promises, His authority, and ultimately His identity. They scattered. They hid. They doubted, and they fretted. They lost their faith. But oh, what encouragement for those of us who do the same. Their Jesus was resurrected fulfilling the law and the promises, and the disciples were to become part of an unimaginable story that spans across all eternity. Their hopes and vision realigned with that of the Father. Their delight fulfilled by living their kingdom purpose. Their own actions propelled by remembering the love poured out on them by their Savior. Jesus came back for them after His death, after they scattered, doubted, denied, and hid. He came back for them to demonstrate His love for them. The love of Jesus and the power of redemption changed their lives forever.
Lament the unfilled longings of your heart. He does not mind. Cry out, like the Psalter, how long, how long, how long. But in gratitude and rejoicing, acknowledge that God’s purposes are for your good and His glory. The impact of your life, whether lived in lack or plenty, sorrow or joy, has purpose that will span eternity if lived in obedience. Some day you will perceive what now you only see, you will understand what now you only hear. Remember how Christ showed His love for you by taking a slow walk up a hill towards Calvary. Remember how through His obedience, you are promised redemption for all things that remain empty. When you do not understand, trust the heart of the One who does.
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Matthew 11:29 NIV
